Breaking Free From Self-sabotage Part 2 by Pastor Dolapo Lawal: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

Recap: What Is Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage is when a man becomes the enemy of his own destiny. It is when the hand that is meant to build begins to tear down. It is when a person uses their own choices, appetites, fears, or pride to limit what God has written concerning them.

It is not the devil outside. It is the weakness inside that frustrates the grace of God.

Self-sabotage is not a question of gift, capability, or results. It is a question of maximizing — making sure the two talents become four, the five talents become ten. Not settling for less than full multiplication of what God has committed to your hands.

Additional Self-Sabotaging Behaviors

• Anger and malice — These two behaviors invite demonic oppression. Ephesians 4:26-27 — "Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil." Once anger is allowed to take root, it gives the devil an opening he will not refuse.

  Two common roots of uncontrolled anger: first, people who are fundamentally gentle and erupt because they feel taken advantage of — and in speaking up they say too much. Second, people who are angry because they would not have done to others what was done to them. But the underlying issue is this: people want to be judged based on their intentions, not their actions — while judging others based on actions, not intentions. The same standard applied to others will be applied in return.

• Unforgiveness and keeping malice — 2 Corinthians 2:5-11 — Paul, addressing a restored member of the Corinthian church, urges that he be forgiven and comforted, "lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow." He adds: "Lest Satan should take advantage of us — for we are not ignorant of his devices." The devices of the enemy include how a person feels. "I don't feel like talking to them right now" — Satan works through that. It is possible to be quoting scripture and working for Satan. From the moment someone manifests traits that belong to the enemy, it is an invitation that cannot be resisted.

• Lack of resilience — Peace is not, primarily, directional. Philippians 4:6 — peace is given as an answer to prayer. It is not the absence of trouble that signals God's will — Jesus prayed in Gethsemane with a soul that was "exceedingly sorrowful, even unto death," and that was the will of God. Grace and peace multiply through the knowledge of Jesus, not through the absence of difficulty.

  People who do great things in any field have been doing it for at least six years. The process is the foundation. The speed of visible results does not determine depth.

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  Laziness is a sign of a defeated thought life. A lazy person has been defeated in their mind — "I cannot do it; it is too much for me." That is a sign of defeat. When the children of Israel entered the promised land, they had to possess it. Giants were there. God said the land flows with milk and honey — but milking a cow is work, and collecting honey requires dealing with bees. The promised land is not passive reception; it is active possession.

• Disinterest quickly — Getting tired of things fast, unable to stay committed. People with this pattern are very busy but have nothing to show for it. Commitment — faithfulness — is the fruit of the Holy Spirit as listed in Galatians 5:22. It is already in the DNA of a believer. Inconsistency is quenching what is already there.

How to Deal with Self-Sabotage

1. Ask for Mercy

The first step is prayer — specifically, asking God to open the eyes to see what is not visible. The evil of self-sabotaging behaviors is that they do not announce themselves. They hide with intelligent explanations that justify their presence. What has been experienced may explain a current pattern, but it does not excuse it. The goal of coming to Christ is not to come and stay as one came — it is transformation.

Three prayers that address this:

• Job 34:32 — "Teach me what I do not see. If I have done iniquity, I will do no more."
• Psalm 19:12 — "Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults."
• Psalm 139:23-24 — "Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my anxieties. See if there is any wicked way in me."
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Pastor Dolapo Lawal
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These are not prayers of weakness — they are the posture Jesus commended. Two men went to the temple to pray. One recounted his spiritual accomplishments. The other said, "Have mercy on me, for I am a sinner." Jesus said the second man left justified. Nobody received a miracle from Jesus while speaking positively about a condition they actually had. The appropriate place for bold declaration is after God has shown the issue and given his word on how to address it — not before.

Understanding Mercy

There is a common idea that God simply decides who to give mercy and who not to. But Acts 10:34 says God shows no partiality. How are these reconciled?

Romans 9:15 quotes Exodus 33:19 — "I will have mercy on whomever I will have mercy." But the context of Exodus 33 is critical. Verse 13 is Moses' prayer — interceding for Israel after the golden calf. Verse 19 is God's answer to that prayer. The declaration that mercy flows from God's nature was spoken in response to intercession, not in a vacuum. Mercy flows from God's nature, but it was released in response to prayer.

Romans 9:16 — "It is not of him who wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows mercy." This does not deny human involvement; it denies human entitlement. Mercy cannot be earned by effort or moral performance. It must be received as mercy.

Who receives this mercy? Romans 9:24-33 — The Gentiles who attained righteousness did so by faith. Israel, pursuing righteousness through works of the law, did not obtain it. The people who receive God's mercy are people who put their faith in Christ and come to receive.

Hebrews 4:16 — "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

If mercy is not being received, it is because it has not been asked for.

Those who experience the mercy of God are those who cry for mercy — who come boldly. Like the man at the Pool of Bethesda, who positioned himself where a miracle was possible and had faith that once he got in, he would be made well. Like blind Bartimaeus, who cried out "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me" despite people telling him to be quiet. Like the Canaanite woman in Matthew 15:22-28, who had no covenant right yet insisted — even dogs eat from the crumbs that fall from the master's table.

Mercy responds to insistence.

2. Meditation on the Word

Joshua 1:8 — "This book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success."

This meditation is not affirmation of preferences. It is the word of God on the lips. It is finding identity and behavior in scripture, not in what feels natural.

For someone struggling with fear: go and find scriptures that say fear does not belong to them. "God has not given me the spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind." Use those scriptures the way David chose five smooth stones for Goliath — each stone selected, smooth, and ready for use. Say them to yourself, morning and night, until the pattern shifts.

Romans 12:2 — "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

There is no behavior a believer cannot stop through meditation on the word. Ephesians 4:17-31 does not say "ask God to help you put it off." It says: you put it off. "Put away lying." "Let him who stole, steal no longer." "Be angry and do not sin."

The believer has the engineering to stop. The Holy Spirit on the inside is not a genie — he is a power source. He is the one "in you to will and to do for his good pleasure." When someone comes with weakness, his strength is made perfect in that weakness. That is the partnership. That is why the Revelation passage says — "I knock. If anyone opens, I will dine with him." He cleans. Then he uses.

Romans 6:11-14 (NLT) — "Consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus… Do not let sin control the way you live. Do not give in to sinful desires… Sin is no longer your master — for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead you live under the freedom of God's grace."

There is freedom to do the right thing in grace. Sin is no longer master.

A person can decide today that this is the last time they cheat, drink, return to the club, or act on a sexual attraction that contradicts how God made them. The capacity to stop is already present. Grace is not permission to continue in sin — Titus 2:11-12 says grace teaches, it instructs. It is preventive, not just pardoning.

Sin is no longer my master. Say it until it reaches the mind. Say it until it becomes the truth you stand on. Sin is no longer my master. For I no longer live under the requirements of the law — I live under the freedom of God's grace.

3. Seek Counsel

Proverbs 11:14 — "Where no counsel is, the people fall. But in the multitude of counselors there is safety."

No one should do life alone. Even the devil, when he planned rebellion, knew he could not achieve anything without company. If he understood that even in rebellion he needed partnership, then certainly in the pursuit of God's purposes, accountability and counsel are not optional.

Accountability means having someone who will say, "You are doing that thing again" — someone whose look catches a pattern before it escalates.

Submission does not diminish stature. Jesus submitted to the will of the Father and remained fully God. Submission does not make anyone less. Asking for help is not weakness; it is an acknowledgment that strengthening is needed. And people who ask for strengthening are not weak forever.

Ask for the mercy of God in this season. Come boldly to the throne of grace. What is needed most is mercy — and mercy is waiting for those who come to receive it.