5 Tips Married Women Need To Take Seriously by Pastor Mildred Kingsley-Okonkwo: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

Running a mentoring program for wives showed how many women have lost themselves in marriage: bitter, jaded, silenced, staying only because of children or because they have no other means of survival.

1. You are the main character in your marriage

Marriage does not remove you as the main character in the story of your life. A marriage is two people, so there should be two voices in it. If marriage is not making you better, you are either taking too much or giving away too much.

Ecclesiastes says two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor, meaning both people are meant to be laboring, not just one.

Tamar's example

Judah's daughter-in-law was promised to his last son but was left waiting and forgotten. She refused to let her situation be decided for her, took matters into her own hands, and the Bible says she was more righteous than her father-in-law. She became part of the lineage Jesus came from.

2. Submission is not slavery

Submission is a gift a wife gives her husband, meaning "I trust your leadership," but it doesn't mean losing your voice. It is only a problem when you don't trust the leadership you chose.

• You are first submitted to God, and if what your husband is asking is contrary to God, take it to God first
• Disagreement can be brought to God in prayer rather than nagging or arguing
• The heart of a king is in God's hands, and God can turn it in his own way and timing

Sapphira died because she went along with a lie instead of telling the truth. Acts 5

3. You must have a life

Your husband cannot be your whole world. Marriage is not just about togetherness, it is also about how you function apart. You need friends who are not your husband, and you need to stay busy with your own assignment from God.

4. Guard your own joy

Joy is not your husband's responsibility. No matter what is happening in your marriage, your joy is yours to keep. If Satan can steal your joy, he can take anything, because it is with joy that we draw from the well.

5. No rival altars

Do not put your husband on a pedestal, even if he is a man of God. He is still human, he will be annoying, he will have habits that irritate you. Complaining is a choice; so is choosing to remember you are there to help. Let God be the only God in your life, don't let his mood decide your mood.

Final word: don't die

Married women overwork themselves to the point of collapse. If you die, your husband will remarry, and your own children will no longer be the priority in that new home.

• Get help if you cannot manage everything alone
• Being alive matters more than proving you can do it all
• You want to be present on the day your children celebrate life's milestones