Questions And Answers For Singles And Married by Rev. Christie Bature: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

From Music to Ministry

Rev. Christie Bature was a child preacher before she was a singer. Born again at 10, she was teaching children's evangelism classes by 14, and became an interpreter for crusades among unreached people groups in Kano. She later played drums and sang lead in an all-female band before God shifted her toward ministering to marriages.

The Turning Point

Her husband was unfaithful. Scripturally she had grounds to leave, and she had packed her bags. God told her, "Stay here. I will bless you here." He said leaving was the justice her husband deserved, but He showed her a higher way: forgiveness.

• She asked God why He kept pressing on her when she was not the one who had stepped out. He answered that she was the one carrying the oil, and to draw more oil out of her, He had to crush her more, like kulikuli, the residue left after oil is pressed from peanuts.
• God told her, "Because I have taught you how to forgive in private, you are qualified to talk about it in public. I will give you platforms."
• Her first invitation to preach came from a pastor who said God told him to invite her, though she had never preached before.

Must Infidelity Be The End?

• Jesus said if someone slaps you on one cheek, turn the other. He said nothing about a third slap.

notifications_active Stay Updated

Join the Readsermons communities for daily nuggets and new sermon alerts.

WhatsApp Telegram
• The first time is a mistake. The second time is a pattern. Ask yourself if you can live with that pattern for the rest of your life.
• If a spouse is persistent and unrepentant, the church should remove the offending spouse from the house, since the church wedded them under vows of exclusivity.

Why Do People Return To The Same Sin?

• Returning to sin is not because the sin has power, but because it brings pleasure, and the brain is a pleasure-seeking organ.
• Every habit, good or bad, is a training of the brain. Repetition forms a neurological pathway.
• As the pathway forms, it physically erodes brain matter. When enough is eroded, a break occurs, and that break is what leads into addiction. A person becomes like a hijacked pilot, no longer in control of the plane.
• The first instance of a bad behavior is experimentation, not yet addiction. Continued repetition and reinforcement is what forms the addiction.

Denial Is The Greatest Obstacle

• Taking responsibility means also accepting you must do something about it, so many refuse to accept responsibility at all.
person
Rev. Christie Bature
Enjoying this sermon? Browse more messages by Rev. Christie Bature on Marriage at ReadSermons.
library_books More Sermons
• A drunk man denies he is drunk. Denial is a defense mechanism.
• You cannot help a person who does not want help. The proof someone truly needs help is how much they are looking for it themselves.
• Even Jesus does not force His way in. Revelation 3:20 says He stands at the door and knocks, and waits.

Boundaries, Not Abuse

• If a spouse's heart has already left through repeated unfaithfulness, you can still set a boundary: he can go, but the body is no longer available to him.
• We were not called into marriage to die, but to live and to bring out each other's best potential.
• Some warfare situations require staying and fighting, as with Hosea and Gomer, but that was a specific instruction from God, not a general rule.
• God hates abuse. He will not build a daughter up only to let a husband tear her down.

Roots and Fruit

Ezekiel 18:2, Isaiah 51:1

• "The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge." Look to the rock from which you were hewn.
• Whatever is happening in your life now, check where you are coming from. If the root is apple, you will not see mango on the tree.
• When you stand and take back territory, it is not only for you. Destinies tied to yours are affected until you rise.

Testimony: A Legacy Broken

A father who was an alcoholic and unfaithful fathered children outside marriage across the family. His children repeated the pattern in their own relationships, unaware of the connection between his choices and theirs.

Setting a Standard You Also Meet

• A man asked whether his high relationship standards were the problem, or whether it was simply his turn to remain single. He wanted to avoid giving a wife the suffering his mother endured.
• "God will not craft a perfect woman and give her to an imperfect man." If you set a standard, ask whether you meet it yourself.
• A leader demands and also brings himself; a boss only demands.

Testimony: Breaking a Generational Pattern

Five sisters were all married with no children. The third daughter recognized the pattern and took a stand against it spiritually. She got pregnant, and within months all five sisters conceived, one after another.

Underfunded Truth

• Platforms promoting compromise on marriage and sexuality are heavily funded and widely shared. Christians are often blessed by sound teaching but rarely share it.
• Truth eventually catches up with and overtakes a lie, no matter how long the lie has been running.

From the Floor

• A woman shared that her whole family married early, but she remains single in her 40s, and people around her label her singleness as "the problem" tied to going to church. She was encouraged: "Don't allow people to give you labels that are not yours."
• Another shared about a pastor whose wife died of cancer, and who has since drawn women and alcohol into the house while his younger son drifts. She was asked not to judge him but to reach out, since only God knows what he has walked through, and to focus on protecting the younger boy by showing him a better standard from the Bible.