7 Mistakes Single Moms Make by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

Being a single mom is more common, and more accepted, than it feels in the moment. Whatever the path here, divorce, loss, or a child before marriage, these are the mistakes worth avoiding.

1. Hiding the fact

   Presenting a fake image to the world speaks of shadiness, not sincerity. Hiding a child also signals to that child they are unwanted, affecting their self-esteem for life. Being a single mom does not reduce your chances — many in this fellowship alone are now married.

2. Not having a clean break from your past

   Staying entangled blocks new people from entering your life. Whether from loss or divorce, get clear terms for raising the kids and for moving forward. Don't stay married to someone you don't love just because you have a child together — it becomes a toxic marriage that affects the child more than separation would.

3. Not developing yourself

   Don't put life on hold and start playing the victim. You still have gifts and abilities. Develop yourself emotionally, financially, mentally, spiritually — learn a new skill, get a certification, start a new trade.

4. Not having a social life

   Keep in touch with people, make new friends, develop a hobby. Don't isolate under the excuse of being too busy or too ashamed.

5. Losing confidence

   Everyone has made mistakes — you're not the only one. Don't cast away your confidence, because it has great reward. Surround yourself with people who speak confidence back into you.

6. Not raising your kids well

   Take responsibility for where you are now. Get male figures around your sons where possible. Don't introduce every new relationship to the children — wait until it's serious. Don't take out your frustrations on them; they didn't ask to come into the world. Don't over-pamper to compensate either — stay balanced. Never use children as a pawn against the other parent.

7. Repeating the same mistake

   Learn what went wrong and do it differently. Don't return to a toxic relationship out of loneliness. Get a counselor, a therapist, or family support so the cycle doesn't repeat.